I wish that everything can be better after calming myself. But i guess.. i give myself too high hopes. Going to college makes me learn a lot. Really a lot that i can say that i almost cant take it. Wish to give up and run away from it. But too bad.. i can't! I have to face it no matter how hard it is. When you tripped and fall.. struggle and ask for a hand.. people around you.. will either look at you and walk away.. or not to even bother to look at you.. or might lend you a hand to assist you to stand up. But.. too bad again.. the chance for the people around to not to bother to look at you is the highest and this is for REAL! All i could do is.. to hide myself at the darkest corner, squeeze myself like a little mouse and cry ( sniff ...) To be honest.. the world is really cruel and i wish that the Lord will appear in front of me.. right now .. so that i can get a hug from him.. Lord.. althought life on this earth is temporary.. but all these challenges are making me feel so tired. What are you trying to mould me into?? ( staring.. at the corner of the screen .. ) Life... ( sigh.. )

Granted a sensitive feeling and heart to feel others but.. others can't even feel a single feeling of mine? It's not fair. I think i should stop caring about others.. should i?

Happiness and sadness comes and go for everyone..

For me..

Happiness is just passing by..

While sadness is the one that stays..

I don't know what else i can do.. But someone told me not to care about it and just go according to the flow.. One day they'll know..

Hm..

OK OK.. ( stop being so down~ UP UP UP!! )

Starting from the next monday, brand new me will appear.. (hope so..)

Learn to protect myself.. not physically but mentally.

Lord.. with your grace and mercy.. help me to go through this obstacle..

Faith needed for this long journey and .. to be your disciple..

The One and Only..

Feel a bit lonely today.. (sigh)

Shan Shan is getting along with her classmates very well.. While me?? I don't know why that i started to feel.. a bit lost and.. a bit lonely.. some are busy with the one they admire.. some are busy with their tama world.. some are ment to clump together like UHU glue.. some are somewhere at the corner.. (long sigh~)

I can still remember it vividly.. last time.. we used to clump together like UHU glue too.. but now...??

No more.. no longer.. (hm~) ..

Maybe our UHU glue is the pirated one that made from C***A...

I admit it that i am being too emotional and.. sensitive but.. i really don't know hoe to control it. Bad me huh?

I miss you guys Taran.. Amy... Jess.. Naza.. Piyan.. Sa'a... Amir... Aus.. Jen Hoong.. K.Ming.. Hana.. Gek Yu.. Choo... Itik... 5 Sc 1 and all the Tasikians..

Is it because i am not getting used with the new environment?

HM~ i don't think so...

Where can i get the answer??

No one can ever understand how hard it feels..

I don want to hate..

I want to love..

I want to care..

Tring to move forward..

Must i sacrifice myself for others to be happy?

AGAIN..??

Why is't always have to be me??

( ~ S I G H ~ )